Anger versus Temper: What is the Difference?

Did you know that there is a difference between anger versus temper? If you have ever been abused and/or are the abuser, I offer you some important clarification.

Patients that present to counselors with “anger” problems are learning that their anger issues are a discharge of their anxiety and inevitably leads to impulsive temper which offers them instant relief from their horrendous feelings of self-loathing, fear, insecurity, all wrapped up as their anxiety.

These impulsive behaviors are discharged as temper rather than anger. Temper is feeling ager because you are not getting your way. Temper comes out as, screaming, yelling, insults, remarks, and it is verbally and emotionally abusive. Temper has harmful consequences that negatively impact your interpersonal relationships.

Does this sound like you or someone that you know?

For example, I was married to a man that was unpredictably moody. I never new what would set him off. Being around him was like walking on eggshells all the time. My cautiousness became a chronic part of my daily life. I lived to calm and appease his mood. I didn’t know how much I hated it until I stopped doing it.

I didn’t know how abusive his behaviors were until I said to myself enough! I am done with dealing with his moods and temper. I didn’t want to feel so oppressed for the rest of my life. This man had a temper problem. He couldn’t feel his own emotions so he placed them on others. And I wan not the only one on the receiving end of it.

People who have severe temper problems

Temper is an impulsive, anxiety-driven reaction to not getting your way or when your focus is directed toward external reasons for your problems.

Many people who have sever temper problems suffered from preverbal trauma. Likely, my ex also experienced abuse and temper before starting before he was old enough to speak and cognitively understand what has happening. Therefore, he internalized these behaviors and is syntonic (unaware of his harmful behaviors in the moment) to them.

Many people who suffer with severe temper-tantrums also have social anxiety and chronic substance issues such as addiction to marijuana and alcohol. This is because they do know that they have temper issues but use substances as an avoidance method.

The Human Emotion of Anger

Anger is a primal human emotion. Anger can look like rage, annoyance, and frustration.

Anger is a motivating human emotion that can help to make desired and necessary changes.

For more information and to get counseling on anger problems, click here: https://clevelandemotionalhealth.com/anger-management/

To register for and online or in-person appointment click here: https://clevelandemotionalhealth.SecurePatientArea.com

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