Developing and Improving Self-Confidence

Low self-confidence seems to be an epidemic in our culture, especially among young women. 

Nonetheless, low self-confidence does not discriminate against anyone, at any age.

What does self-confidence look like?

  • Self-confidence is when you know you are on your life’s path, not someone else’s. It is knowing that failure is expected and that you can learn and grow from your failings. 
  • Self-confidence is facing your anxieties and emotions while you keep moving forward, rather than avoiding showing up in your life and shutting down. It is reaching out to others for support and being supportive of others. 
  • Self-confidence is knowing that life is not meant to be easy and that there is nothing wrong with us if we do not feel happy all the time. 
  • Self-confidence is accountability for your behaviors, attitudes, and actions.

What self-confidence is not…

Self-confidence is not self-centered nor arrogant. It is not putting others down to make you feel better. Self-confidence is not judgmental, and it is not blaming others for one’s problems.

If you ever find that, at times, you (or someone you know) are overly judgmental of others or getting angry with loved ones, this may be defenses to prevent yourself from addressing your own pain and fears. 

What can you do to improve your self-confidence?

  • Start by accepting that you are human and flawed, although a work in progress. 
  • Face and accept your emotions, especially pain, anger, and fear. They are part of who you are because you are human. 
  • Avoiding your emotions is what causes a lot of your anxiety because it can make you feel out of control or overwhelmed at different times in your life.
  • Pay attention to and accept what is going on in your internal world.

Can you answer this question: What do I want for myself and for my life? If you do not have an answer at all for this question, you may be focused more on your external world, a world that you can influence, but cannot control.

Self-confidence is knowing that you are on your life’s path, and not someone else’s.

What is your life’s path? 

My good friend, Laura B. is on her path!

Knowing your life’s path is an ongoing work in progress. Your life’s path is not set in stone but is meant to shift and change as you develop and grow throughout your lifetime. It is never-ending. Being on your path gives you a sense of accomplishment & worth, frustration at times, and a sense of pride and joy. Finding your life’s path (and not someone else’s), is your road to self-confidence.

Finally, when you develop & grow your self-confidence, you become a role model of confidence for others. Especially for your loved ones and family members! 

Do you know someone that is suffering from low self-confidence?

Please comment and share on your social media. You never know, you might just change someone’s life.

Contact me, Catherine Cleveland, for more information on my mental health counseling services (585) 432-0313

2 thoughts on “Developing and Improving Self-Confidence

  1. marie322dawn

    Finding your lifes path seems easy sometimes but really doing the work and making changes is hard as hell sometimes but so worth the work. What really opened up my journey was learning to be assertive. I now know how to state my needs and expectations without allowing emotion to cloud my thoughts, and I also set boundaries with ease. I still get surprised sometimes with people’s strong reactions to being told no basically. Healthy boundaries are so important and it takes confidence to set them. And boundaries, like your journey are always shifting. You will learn as you go who you can loosen up on the boundaries with. And who you cant. And making mistakes, or crossing a boundary you set is ok. It is a learning experience. You cant have good boundaries unless you know what a bad boundary is. And be easy on yourself as you grow and work on your confidence. No body is perfect. Thank you Catherine for a very insightful and thought provoking article. You are fantastic! And inspiring. And incredibly smart.

    Reply
    1. Catherine G. Cleveland Post author

      Thank you, Dawn. You are very kind. You remind me of how empowering and confidence-building that setting and sticking to boundaries can be. And you are also right, change can be hard work, but we are all worth the effort. Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts.

      Reply

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