Darkness

boy running during sunset

J1 E15 ~ Inside Out:

You would be enveloped in darkness. So dark that the senses are useless. Lack of anything – Not silent,
sound just doesn’t exist. It is dense, like a black hole. Nothing can escape, and it takes over anything that
comes near it.
I am there somewhere. Trapped. I have no body, yet all of my extremities are here and paralyzed. I am
glued down in a tar pit, unable to move. I scream for help in terror, but no one comes. No one can hear
me. I can’t even hear me. There is no sound. No light. No feeling.
But if you dig deeper, inside that person trapped inside me, there is a happy, playful child. A sense of
humor – although a bit edgy and racist. The child wants to play in the woods, climb trees, laugh with
friends.
The child wants to be taken care of. Needs to be taken care of. It is dying – like a plant without water or
sunlight. The child is no longer happy, just surviving. Desperate to find water or light. But it is trapped –
rooted to the ground. It wants to help itself – not be helpless- but it doesn’t know how.
I don’t want to be helpless, but I still feel it.

Read more Journal 1 Entries

Published by Cleveland Emotional Health LLC Network of Private Practices

Catherine is a licensed mental health counselor located in Geneseo NY and the author of the mental health series Philosophical Processing Journals 1-5. Check out her author page on Amazon. See links below.

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