Tag Archives: Cleveland Emotional Heath

The Importance of Grieving

Loss of a loved one

When we lose someone whether from death or the end of a relationship, it is important to allow yourself to feel all of the emotions related to that loss. These emotions can feel like despair, disorientation, rejection, loneliness, sadness, pain, and anger. If you avoid your emotions, they will not go away. They will haunt you. And, as a result of avoiding emotional grieving, it can negatively impact your life including relationships, future relationships, goals, and plans.

It is never too late to grieve

It is never too late to grieve a loss. This week’s guest post is a beautiful example of the author using letter writing to grieve the loss of his grandmother who died several years ago. Thank you for reading and please don’t forget to comment and share. You never know, you may be helping somebody!

By Nathan Conrad

Dear Grandma,

Let me start by saying that I miss you so much. It was times like these that I relied on you the most. You were always there to listen. I wish you didn’t have to go the way you did. You deserved to go quietly and peacefully in your sleep.

I know how scared you were. And, to be honest, I was scared for you too. But, I was strong, I was strong for you and for mom too. I was by your side the whole time putting on a strong face, but my heart was breaking. I wasn’t ready to lose you and neither was mom.

You were so much more…

You were much more than just a grandma, you were one of my closest friends. I wish I would have spent more time with you, but we both know how my job [first responder] was.

That day, the day you died, changed me. The ambulance was no longer a calling. It became just a “job.” Every time I had to ride with a patient in the back, it took me back to that day, and, would break my heart all over again.

There wasn’t enough whiskey…

There wasn’t enough whiskey or that other “junk” to fill the void you left, but I sure tried. I know why you left the hard choices that day up to me. I was just as stubborn as you and you know I would follow your wishes to the letter. And we both know that mom could not have handled the guilt.

I miss you every day. I miss our talks, our music, especially Elvis and Willie. No one could make a bacon and egg sandwich like you, and no one ever will.

I was the one…

I wanted you to know, that I was the one who put your ashes in the grave and I wrapped your urn in your favorite blanket.

I am two months sober now

I am sure you know that I have gotten myself into trouble. You were right about my loser friends. I want you to know that I am two months sober now and I am learning what is important now. I am going to try my best to be a better son and grandson to take care of my family like you took care of us.

You still have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known and I am trying my best to be like you. I hope I will get to see you again one day, but for now, your spirit will always be with me.

I Love you, love, your favorite grandson

For more information on counseling, please contact me, Catherine Cleveland at (585) 432-0313 or email me at clevelandemotionalhealth@gmail.com.

What I Like About Myself

By Ellen Edmond

This week I welcome and thank our guest blogger, Ellen Edmond for her insightful narrative. Please enjoy, share, and feel free to comment. And, don’t forget to subscribe (lower right).

Homework?!

Simple request [from my counselor], if I remember: write 10 things I like about myself. And you added, write it in a narrative. Busy week & out of state family still here but will try.

Hmmm, this is more difficult than I thought. It shouldn’t be. I have family and friends…perhaps I focus on taking care of them instead of me?? Well, it’s time for me. Relax, breathe slowly and gently. Enjoy how it feels physically. My shoulders are relaxing, now my tummy. I uncross my legs and think about me…

I can’t change overnight…

I am becoming more patient. I can’t change overnight but I can accept this now. When I start becoming impatient and angry, I am learning to stop and breathe slowly, feeling my shoulders relax. “Patience is a virtue.” 

I have an inner strength/courage, which I sometimes don’t think I have. Who took care of Dad when he was failing, then dying? Who was at his deathbed by herself? And I cherish that moment as Mom left to seek another sister while knowing that’s what Dad wanted her to do. I am still grateful I was there no matter how many tears I shed. I now take care of Mom and relish every good day.

What I like bout myself

I am a good friend. I keep secrets, hate rumors. I cook and bake for them. I listen without interjecting, well, most of the time. 

I try to be an open book; I cannot pretend to be someone I’m not, and I trust others to do/be the same. (I wonder if this is true since apparently I don’t think that much of me as others do.) But I did say “try”.

I am trying hard not to blame myself for things I have no control over. I did not cause the car crash that killed my baby brother. #1…I was only 3 or 4. I did not start World War II. I do not start the fires in California. Absurd!

I know how to throw a good (if not great) party where everyone enjoys themselves. (It’s a talent…) 

I have been managing our budget and our real estate budget (when we had the agency) for years and kept it afloat even with unforeseen financial challenges. This stresses me out. But when one of us is satisfied paying late fees and the other isn’t, then the other had to take over. Now the other, me, is going to share the responsibility. I like being in control but I am learning how good it feels to have someone to share the load.

I am there for our children and their families. So I am a mom, grandma (nana), caretaker, tickler & friend. Our son’s wives call me for advice, to share family moments and activities. They call me Mom.

Ultimately,

I may be feeling weak, but, ultimately, I am strong when I have to be. This homework assignment has become self-reflection and, although I could go on, I won’t. I will continue internally.

Maybe I like myself better than I thought I did. I DO.

Thank you, Ellen!

If you would like to be a guest blogger, please email me your submission at clevelandemotionalhealth@gmail.com. If you would like to schedule an appiontment, register on the secure portal or call me at (585) 432-0313

An Argument for NOT Taking Medication

Skills over Pills!

This video is part of what I am studying as part of my contemporary trends class in my University of Rochester doctoral program. Please comment.

Get help now. Your mental health is priceless! Please click here to schedule an appointment. Call or text (585) 432-0313